How to Move on From a Relationship|Relationship and Dating Advice

There are so many types of relationships out there. Some are between two people who care for each other in an intimate way, there are ones between a parent and their child, and of course between you and your best friend. Either way sometimes things have to end. The thought of it can be heartbreaking or anger could be stirring within, but either way the whole scenario isn’t a pleasant one. Of course, most of us don’t like dealing with this so here are a few helpful tips and ways to hopefully help you find yourself again, and maybe even possibly mending what’s been broken.

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I’m the type of person that doesn’t have many friends, but the few I do have are beyond the most sweetest, inspirational, adventurous, human beings I know. And honestly, this use to be very abnormal for me. Growing up I use to have a ton of friends, but bridges were always burned and to this day I still wonder what I could have done to fix it. Over my 21 years of having relationships like this I had to figure out why I couldn’t keep a friendship for long. And I knew it was because of me. For those of you who wonder why you can’t keep a friend, or your best friend always get’s upset with you…here’s what I learned. In life it’s not always about me, me, me. In the past I always had to talk about myself and didn’t care much about the person’s life, and I rarely took their feelings into consideration. But when I needed a shoulder to lean on, my friends were there for me. This, one way friendship is what tore apart all the opportunities I could have had at having a “healthy relationship”. So if you’re wondering what you could change, work on turning your relationship with friends into a two way relationship, not a one way. Once I started trying to get to know my friends better, and did things they liked to do, that’s when I learned that the best way to keep your friends and to build a steady foundation, is to never make it just about you. Make it about the both of you.

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I have met so many people who don’t always have close relationships with their parents. I always here stories of them seeing their parents as “horrible human beings”, and that they never want anything to do with them. From my own experience I use to be in the same boat. Before I attended boarding school I would fight all the time with my mom, and ever so often with my dad. I never saw eye to eye with them and I felt like they just wanted to make my life a living hell. Looking back on it all it was the other way around. Now, I’m not saying this is everyone’s “life scenario”, but ether way someone is at fault. In my case most of it had to do with me not understanding my parents rules and why they chose to treat me the way they did. Now that I have a better understanding of the situation, I learned how to treat them respectfully, abide by their rules, and to just have proper communication. I think that’s one of the main reasons why relationships can get a little rocky with parents. I’ve learned it’s a lot about trust and communication. You don’t have to tell your parents about every single thing you do, but most parents worry so they want to know you’re doing alright. So as long as you put in the effort to help make a change and create a healthier, more balanced out relationship, communicate better and learn to trust one another, I promise you…the relationship will start to change for the better.

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One of the hardest relationships for some to move on from are breakups. Especially if you’ve been with the person for years. I’ve definitely have been on both sides where I’ve been dumped and have been the one leaving. Either way it’s hard. If you’re at the point where you’ve just gone through a breakup and it feels like the end of the world. I promise you it’s not. We all go through stages of grief, anger, and learning to accept what happened. Some of us cope differently, but here are a few helpful things that have helped me when I’ve been on that side of the spectrum.

1)Cry

It sounds crazy to say it, but you have to get it out of your system. Don’t hold it in because the more you do the longer it will take for you to move on and begin new adventures with someone else or even just enjoying the single life.

2)Work Out

Blow off some steam if you’re starting to feel more negative. exercising helps release endorphin’s, and make you feel like you’ve taken a “happy pill”. Plus you feel so much better about yourself afterwards.

3)Get Out!

Don’t lock yourself away, I repeat! DON’T LOCK YOURSELF AWAY. The worst thing I ever chose to do when I was down in the dumps was hide away in my house and never chose to see anyone. It almost felt as if I was living in a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. Even though you won’t want to feel like getting out of bed, putting on some makeup, and upgrading from pajamas to some jeans and a t-shirt…you need too. Put yourself out there with friends. Head to a mall or just go out for lunch; Mention not to talk about the breakup, but talk about things you want to experience now that you’re single. Soon you’ll learn to accept what happened and the faster you’re on your way to mending your broken heart.

These 3 simple things are probably the MOST helpful tips I can offer. They’ve helped me get through the worst of it, and over a year later I’m still happy and single.

Now for those of you who are the opposite side of the “breaking-up” spectrum and you’re about to leave someone here’s my advice. BE NICE. Remember that if you’ve been with the person for a significant amount of time it’s going to hurt both of you. You’ve held onto a relationship that involves so much more than just the two of you. Both of you have created memories. So if you’re choosing to leave the other person do it respectfully, but let the other person know why you’re doing it. My last relationship I was in I was the one who broke it off. I approached the situation in such a way, that I still feel guilt. (And I’d never want someone to feel that way.) I’m not going to get into the unnecessary details, but I ended it in a poor manor, and I was rude and didn’t give an exact reason to why I left. So to those of you who are about to be in that position let the person off easy, but let them know the time you guys spent together won’t be thrown away forever. I feel like if you do this the other person may not like you for a while or forever, but they will understand eventually that you wanted what was best for the both of you, and you did what you could to lay them down easy. So good luck to you!

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There are many reason to why relationships fall apart. But you still have to opportunity to fix them or at least mend the situation. It definitely takes time and there are a ton of reasons to why relationships end. It’s up to you to figure out if it’s worth all your energy or not. Either way communicate, trust your gut, and respect the situation. I hope my advice and the little bits and pieces of my life help you out! Let me know what you think!

XoXo

Rae

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