enough to take the actions required for you happiness…
enough to cut yourself loose from the drama-filled past…
enough to set a high standard for relationships…
enough to feed your mind and body in a healthy manner…
enough to forgive yourself…enough to move on…”
-Dr. Steve Maraboli
Sorry I’ve been so MIA for a while. My life has been all over the place and I’ve been doing my best to keep myself grounded and figure out who I am again. Sometimes I feel like in this world today it’s hard to not get sucked into the world of social media. Lately I’ve been taking a break and focusing on me. I felt like for a while now I stepped away from who I really was, and tried to fit into different “worlds” that I just never really belonged in. Hopefully all the things I’ve learned so far help you find yourself again, especially if you’re feeling a little down and out. Thank you, as always for stopping by!
It’s a process for me.
I always seem to think the worst of myself and it takes so much time and effort to teach myself to love me. But don’t worry, I feel like a lot of people have this issue…even if they don’t want to admit it. Here are the 9 things I have started to do to help myself, love me again, and how it’s helping me.
1) Get Away from Social Media for at least 1-2 Days
If the title doesn’t give it away, I don’t know what will. Today, we spend so much time reading up on all the juicy, latest gossip, that we forget about what’s happening in our own lives. I probably spend at least 85% of my time looking at Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, reading other blogs, and seeing the latest videos posted on Youtube. It’s good to a certain extent to catch up, but you know it’s not right when you’re checking it constantly, and not paying attention to what you’re really suppose to be doing. I’m the type of person that loves to just share my thoughts and feelings with the world, especially on snapchat. Sometimes I look back at my story and end up deleting stuff because it’s just not appropriate for the entire world to know. Especially if I’m in the mood to go on a rant. So if you’re not feeling quite yourself, but want to still let your feelings out…step away. Social media could do you harm in some ways if you’re not careful. Take a quick brake! What helps me is I actually sign out of my snapchat for an entire day, so I don’t have the urge to check who sent me something, or what’s on my friend’s stories. And it’s actually helped me focus on doing fun things around the house or spending time with my family.
2) Set Weekly Goals
If you’re the type of person that needs a good full-day of just “me time”, do it. Give yourself some time off. I feel like the older I’m getting, going out isn’t too much of a big deal to me. Every so often I will catch myself heading to the bar a few times, but than there are times when I just want my own space. And recently I’m falling back into that whole “mode”. It’s good to step away from the world outside your house. Since I live at home still I feel like on my days when I just want to hang out at home, it’s also a great opportunity to spend time with my family. I rarely see them during the week so, weekends are always nice. Remember it’s okay to stay in every so often. You need a break and a day to enjoy being a bum. Those are the days I live for.
3) Re-Discovering Your Passions
*What are the 3 main things I'm passionate about?*
I love to sing.
I love to do makeup.
And I love relaxing and just turning on some good music.
When I’m stressed and I have way too much on my mind I forget about these things. I’m more focused on the things that make me worried and unhappy. That is one of the top ways to destroy your inner happiness and well being. The things that you are truly passionate about are the key items to creating a better you, and taking your mind off of situations that’ll keep you awake at night. Since I have a hard time dealing with my stress the two main things I do is write about what’s stressing me out and what I can do to prevent it from getting worse, and watching some of my favorite beauty gurus on Youtube chat away about makeup and their life. So I guess the two main things I advice you to do to re-discovering your love for something is to:
- List 3 things you are passionate about, and find ways to bring those items or hobbies back into your life…if you’ve backed away from them
- Take action. Even if you have and hour or two, once a week to do whatever makes you happy, that’s one or two precious hours of your life that you have chosen to finally focus on what you love and not about anything else.
4) Words of Encouragement
If you’re the type of guy or the type of girl who gets easily put down or you are your own worst enemy, do the opposite. What I mean by this is start telling yourself lies, good lies. For example, I’m not the most confident person. It’s hard for me to embrace who I am, and it’s always been a negative quality of mine. Every time I think about putting myself down I like to pull out a few sticky notes that I wrote to myself. One of them is my I AM statement, another is a quote that makes me smile, and the third is a lie that one day I will believe to be true. Start with the little things to build your confidence. Because throughout the process you learn to love yourself again.
5) Self Help Books
Self Help books will be your best friend. It will teach you how to get through your struggles in life, you’ll learn how to deal with certain people in specific situations, possibly help you find the things your good at, educate yourself(of course), and the best part is it will help you find you. I started reading self help books my 11th grade year of high school. At first I didn’t want to read them, but once I would end a book I just had to move onto the next. Most of the people who write these books come from a place that use to be very dark. They write these books because they got out of that place and learned to take everything in life and learned to love it. It’s pretty much a free guide to help you out in all different aspects of your life. So if anything like I said, these books will become your best friend.
The most important thing is to have goals set in place. If you’re just walking through life with no path or nothing to look forward too, you’ll be a very unhappy person. Goals are what drive you to do you best and it’ll also make you feel like you have a purpose…if that makes sense. I can sometimes go a few weeks without having any goals and those are probably the most unhappy moments. I like to set simple goals and once I achieve them the feeling is great.
Once you're able to push yourself to what you thought seemed impossible, everything becomes possible.
7) Appreciating Everything
In the end I feel like it all comes down to just accepting every little detail that has happened or will be happening in your life. You’re always going to go through a period of pure happiness, but you can also go through a period of let down and failures. It’s up to you on how you’re going to view every single one of these situations. Lately in my life a lot more negative has happened than positive things. Yes, it does bring me down, but I know if I don’t go through periods like this in my life, how will I get through anything? One thing is I’ve slowly learned to love myself again, slowly. My unhappiness was coming from things that shouldn’t be affecting me so hard.
One thing to keep in mind is it’s up to you to change how you view yourself. People are going to walk in and out of your life and you will be let down, and you will be brought back up. Most importantly is if you aren’t happy with yourself, the effects of certain situations could hit a lot harder than you would ever want it too. So take some time to find you, be strong and confident, and understand once you’re able to have the best possible relationship with yourself, you’ll be able to with anything and anyone.
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